BEFORE THE
BIG BANG
There was no light. No time. No Wi-Fi. Just Wojak floating in an empty void, wondering why he was here. Then he sneezed. The universe happened.
*ACHOO*✦ DRAWN IN PAINT. BORN IN SPACE. ✦
SOMEWHERE BEYOND THE LAST CANDLE...
WOJALAXY✳
THE UNIVERSE IS JUST
ONE BIG WOJAK.
Before time. Before charts. Before anyone asked “wen moon” — there was one guy holding the whole galaxy.
100% COSMICNO THOUGHTSJUST SPACE
↓ SCROLL INTO THE VOID ↓
✳ ONE WOJAK ✳ INFINITE GALAXIES ✳ ZERO BRAIN CELLS ✳ ONE WOJAK ✳ INFINITE GALAXIES ✳ ZERO BRAIN CELLS ✳
THE OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL HISTORY
THE LORE✷
Four chapters. Infinite universes. Absolutely no financial advice.
BEFORE THE
GALAXY IN
HIS HANDS
He scooped up some stardust, rolled it into a spiral and called it a galaxy. He made another. And another. He still couldn't figure out what to do with his hands.
oops, more starsTHE FIRST
GREEN CANDLE
Billions of years later, life invented trading. Wojak watched a tiny green candle go up. For the first time in eternity, he felt something. It was FOMO.
WEN GALAXY?THE WOJALAXY
EXPANDS
Now his universe has a name. No master plan. No cosmic prophecy. Just a hand-drawn space god, a galaxy and everyone along for the ride.
YOU ARE HERE ↗A VERY SERIOUS COSMIC FACTSMALL BRAIN.
SMALL BRAIN.
BIG UNIVERSE.
Some say the universe is expanding. Others say it's just Wojak zooming in on the chart.
∞GALAXIES
1WOJAK
0THOUGHTS
STARS CREATED IN THIS BROWSER: 0
TRANSMISSION FROM THE VOID
CAN YOU HEAR
THE GALAXY?
Follow the signal. Enter the Wojalaxy. Remember: even the biggest universe started with one very confused guy.